What I'm Looking For?

Actually, I really don't know what I'm
looking for my life? What really I need?
Girl? Money? Friendship? or.. other things else?
I really don't know~
May be, I need girl.... ...
at the same time, I also need money and friendship.

In fact, should I find a new girl?
before you died, you had asked me to find
a new girl who better than you.
But, I can't forget our memory, our experience.
I know you will disappointed, but I really can't forget.

When I need you, you are not beside me-----
At that time, I'm very down.
I'm regret because I lost you in my life.
Long time no visit you parents,
don't know whether they are fine or not.
May be this week I'll go~

For money, I don't know what should I buy for myself.
PSP, Mac Book, Car, or... ... Shoes, Shirts....
I really don't know.
If money can buy all the things in this world,
I hope that I can buy your life.
But I can't.
When I went for shopping, I saw every couple very sweet.
I'm jealous. If you're beside me, we'll sweet than them right?

For friendship, I don't know what to say.
I got a lot of friends. But all of them are not sincere.
I don't have a friend that can take care me,
I can trust him/her, I can share somethings with him/her.
Originally I got, but now he won't to complete ignore to me.
Remember when final exam, I got many exam tips.
I'm the student who got the many tips in my school.
All of them asked me to give them.
They only want the tips, and not me this friend.
Now I'm regret I give them.

I got a dude. But now he won't my dude any more.
I don't know how to said.
When he was fever, I take care him.
When teacher scolded him, I help him.
When he ponteng, I help him to cheat teacher.
When he want me help, I help him.
When he want me share the food with him, I share with him.
When he hungry, I give him my foods, help him buy foods.
But he never thanks me.
Now, he 'stick together' with someone.
And he won't stick together with me anymore.
Before that, he told me about his things.
Now he told that people. He don't tell me anymore.
Should I remove him from my life?
I know that he stick together with me is because
I got iPhone. Always borrow from me.
For other guys, I got borrow them?
The answer is NO!!! Why?
Because I really care about him,
but he's aloof, unconcerned.

I really a noob, idiot, stupid person.
Why I want to trust them? Why?!
I hate it. I hate them. and I also hate you dear.
Why you're not beside me? I'm very miss you!
Can you please resurrection? Can you?