Yes. I am.

Yes im jealous, of those who have that one friend that they can call there best friend. Talk about anything with, personal, stupid, sexual, secretive, funny, bitchy and fucking anything else. Go over there house everyday with their parents even knowing you as a friend. Sleepover and watch movies, play games and talk about shit into like five in the morning. Go walk to school with. Have ridiculous fights with and then make up and become even better friends and hug and say sorry over and over the next day. Invite to go out with the, TO BE ABLE TO SHOP FOR STUFF WITHOUT THEM GETTING BORED AND ALWAYS COMPLAINING. To have the same interest and love the same music or bands. To be able to do anything around them dance like a fuckhead, sing like your mickey mouse on puberty, act like that stupid stuck up bitch who’s a slut. To be able to lend money to them and they give it back to you without even asking. To take endless photos of us being stupid and idiotic. To have no care about having your room so nice and tidy because they know how your room is. And plenty of other reasons but i don't want to bore you to death

All these little things would just make me so happy and joyful.

But sadly no i don't experience these little things.

Hopefully in time i may do, who knows

But now i think i want it more then ever, after how much I've changed.

Not into sport anymore so i get so bored easily

I try to talk to people, but the conversations mostly die or they never reply.

I try to talk to people when they are upset but still nothing

It’s just all i want

That one person i can call my best friend

And he/she will say it back

But until then i guess all i can do is continue trying to find this person

Or feel the same that i do now for a long time to come